Throughout this assignment, I have noticed a few different things.
On a writing and student level, I feel that this assignment has slightly improved my fluency (though I still feel that I have a lot of work in this area). But as the journaling passed, day by day, the writing came very slightly easier. However, as the days passed, I had a hard time thinking of what to write about. It wasn't because I don't think, because I do and I am a person who spends a lot of my time in my head, but I think it was because it was apart of the assignment, to write everyday. How might I change this assignment would to maybe assign at least 3 writings per week.
There are beyond several journal prompts out there, but when it came time to sit down and actually type it up, then that is when I drew a blank. And that is another thing. Typing versus writing. I am used to physically writing in my journal and am certainly not used to typing up my thoughts. So that was a change I had to jump into (but I have not yet gotten used to it).
I did like this assignment. I wouldn't say that it was easy, because as I stated above, there were challenges for me. But it was fun. It was a great break away from the text-book learning in my other classes, which I very much appreciated!
I liked using Blogger and am happy that this assignment was for this website. I hadn't noticed before this assignment how many creative options Blogger gives to personalize a person's blog.
So, all-in-all, I hope that Ms. A continues with this assignment for future students, because it may help other students as it did me. For the most part, this assignment got me thinking outside of the box (like the text-book studying, for example) and into a creative world.
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Breastfeeding
One thing that I am most proud of in my lifetime is providing my daughter with breastmilk the first year of her life. Yes, I mention it every now and then, and yes I love to brag about it because I feel very proud of myself.
My daughter started out feeding at the breast. But, being a first time mom and not knowing any better, I introduced the bottle too early and thus she started her "nipple preference". I say nipple preference, not confusion, because my daughter did not have confusion. She preferred the bottle, plain and simple. She was not confused, no she definitely was not. When I attempted several times to get her back to the breast, she knew. She knew even before I put her at the breast that "hey, this is the nipple I actually have to work at to get my milk, whereas, the bottle nipple makes it come faster and less work". So, no, she did not have confusion. She wanted the faster bottle.
This was about the 2nd month after she was born that this occurred and my heart broke. Unless a woman has been a breastfeeding mother before, it is truly hard to describe this kind of sadness. I know that she did not mean anything personal by it, but I wanted her to want my breast, not the bottle.
After about 2-3 exhausting weeks of trying so much to get her back to the breast, and with no luck, I made a personal decision to exclusively pump. I had this crazy idea. Hey, she would be getting breast milk either way and it didn't really matter which nipple it came from, right? I thought it was a kind of crazy idea, but apparently I wasn't the first to think of it (though it wasn't really widely known, either, therefore I did not have many books or resources to guide me). With the help of WIC, I began my exclusive pumping.
I would pump every 2-3 hours (after saying it so often, to so many curious people, it became a personal motto) and with the support of my daughter's father and my mother, I actually got my milk supply up and to a good start! At first, this wasn't my favorite choice (though it was a choice, because I wanted her to have the breast milk). I was exhausted. Purely drained on top of being a mother to a newborn.
Especially since I was so adamant about making sure the pump parts were cleaned after every use (and I did this for almost an entire year!); I was beyond exhausted. I would take the pump parts, hook it up to the pump, pump for 15-20 minutes, then store the milk in the fridge. I would then clean the pump parts really good and then be done for the next 2-2.5 hours.
I remember one of the ladies at the WIC office, who helped me out so much, saying that she couldn't imagine pumping the whole year, but I actually did it. I am still in shock that I did.
On top of my cleaning routine with the pump/pump parts, I had a diet. I cut out every single caffeine source, including chocolate, soda, tea, and coffee. It was during this that I discovered my addiction to Reese's Pieces because though they tasted a little like chocolate to me, they had no caffeine! I drank a decent amount of milk and a lot of water throughout the year and limited myself to a can of Sprite or 7-UP every month or so.
I kept myself clean and sanitary in the area that provided milk for my daughter. I would use breast pads everyday, clean and new everyday. And my day of pumping would begin around 6am-7am and end with a final pumping of the day around 10:30 pm.
This schedule was demanding and I had to make sure to follow it. If I went to see an occasional movie, I would bring the handheld pump and would discretely pump in the movie theater. It was necessary. In order to keep up my supply, I had to keep up the demand. Which many people did not get.
I had a freezer full of milk for my daughter, and yet my sister would ask why I was still pumping. She surely has never had kids! She did not understand that it is a supply and demand system and even if I did give my daughter all the milk in the freezer, it would have only lasted a week at most!
The week that I stopped pumping (the week my daughter turned 1) I felt a little bit of relief and lot of sadness, too. I had become attached to providing my daughter with my milk and even though I so missed her at the breast (even to this day, if I hold her in a certain position next to my chest, I will begin to miss the breast feeding closeness), I was excited to not have to keep up this schedule.
I iced my breasts for about 2 weeks and that truly, amazingly helped! It was weird not pumping and sometimes I would catch myself thinking, when I was out, "uh oh, I gotta get home so I can pump" but then remember that I stopped. It took about a month or two to finally get used to not pumping.
I still do miss the closeness of breast feeding and it will bring tears to my eyes. I don't think anything can beat that feeling. It is a great feeling and it is no wonder that many women are proactive about breast feeding. I think that every mother needs to at least try (if they can) to breast feed because it's that closeness that cannot be replaced. The skin-on-skin contact is what I miss. The feeling of her against me. And knowing that I was cradling her in my arms or beside my belly, and she would get so comfortable that she would sometimes fall asleep!
I truly miss that.
And I truly am so proud of myself for pumping/breastfeeding for the entire first year!
Go me!!
October 5th, 2011
My daughter started out feeding at the breast. But, being a first time mom and not knowing any better, I introduced the bottle too early and thus she started her "nipple preference". I say nipple preference, not confusion, because my daughter did not have confusion. She preferred the bottle, plain and simple. She was not confused, no she definitely was not. When I attempted several times to get her back to the breast, she knew. She knew even before I put her at the breast that "hey, this is the nipple I actually have to work at to get my milk, whereas, the bottle nipple makes it come faster and less work". So, no, she did not have confusion. She wanted the faster bottle.
This was about the 2nd month after she was born that this occurred and my heart broke. Unless a woman has been a breastfeeding mother before, it is truly hard to describe this kind of sadness. I know that she did not mean anything personal by it, but I wanted her to want my breast, not the bottle.
After about 2-3 exhausting weeks of trying so much to get her back to the breast, and with no luck, I made a personal decision to exclusively pump. I had this crazy idea. Hey, she would be getting breast milk either way and it didn't really matter which nipple it came from, right? I thought it was a kind of crazy idea, but apparently I wasn't the first to think of it (though it wasn't really widely known, either, therefore I did not have many books or resources to guide me). With the help of WIC, I began my exclusive pumping.
I would pump every 2-3 hours (after saying it so often, to so many curious people, it became a personal motto) and with the support of my daughter's father and my mother, I actually got my milk supply up and to a good start! At first, this wasn't my favorite choice (though it was a choice, because I wanted her to have the breast milk). I was exhausted. Purely drained on top of being a mother to a newborn.
Especially since I was so adamant about making sure the pump parts were cleaned after every use (and I did this for almost an entire year!); I was beyond exhausted. I would take the pump parts, hook it up to the pump, pump for 15-20 minutes, then store the milk in the fridge. I would then clean the pump parts really good and then be done for the next 2-2.5 hours.
I remember one of the ladies at the WIC office, who helped me out so much, saying that she couldn't imagine pumping the whole year, but I actually did it. I am still in shock that I did.
On top of my cleaning routine with the pump/pump parts, I had a diet. I cut out every single caffeine source, including chocolate, soda, tea, and coffee. It was during this that I discovered my addiction to Reese's Pieces because though they tasted a little like chocolate to me, they had no caffeine! I drank a decent amount of milk and a lot of water throughout the year and limited myself to a can of Sprite or 7-UP every month or so.
I kept myself clean and sanitary in the area that provided milk for my daughter. I would use breast pads everyday, clean and new everyday. And my day of pumping would begin around 6am-7am and end with a final pumping of the day around 10:30 pm.
This schedule was demanding and I had to make sure to follow it. If I went to see an occasional movie, I would bring the handheld pump and would discretely pump in the movie theater. It was necessary. In order to keep up my supply, I had to keep up the demand. Which many people did not get.
I had a freezer full of milk for my daughter, and yet my sister would ask why I was still pumping. She surely has never had kids! She did not understand that it is a supply and demand system and even if I did give my daughter all the milk in the freezer, it would have only lasted a week at most!
The week that I stopped pumping (the week my daughter turned 1) I felt a little bit of relief and lot of sadness, too. I had become attached to providing my daughter with my milk and even though I so missed her at the breast (even to this day, if I hold her in a certain position next to my chest, I will begin to miss the breast feeding closeness), I was excited to not have to keep up this schedule.
I iced my breasts for about 2 weeks and that truly, amazingly helped! It was weird not pumping and sometimes I would catch myself thinking, when I was out, "uh oh, I gotta get home so I can pump" but then remember that I stopped. It took about a month or two to finally get used to not pumping.
I still do miss the closeness of breast feeding and it will bring tears to my eyes. I don't think anything can beat that feeling. It is a great feeling and it is no wonder that many women are proactive about breast feeding. I think that every mother needs to at least try (if they can) to breast feed because it's that closeness that cannot be replaced. The skin-on-skin contact is what I miss. The feeling of her against me. And knowing that I was cradling her in my arms or beside my belly, and she would get so comfortable that she would sometimes fall asleep!
I truly miss that.
And I truly am so proud of myself for pumping/breastfeeding for the entire first year!
Go me!!
October 5th, 2011
Monday, October 3, 2011
Dear You
I decided to write a letter to someone in my past, given the idea from journalingprompts.com.
If I were to write a letter to this someone, I might write it like this:
Dear You,
You were only in my life for a short while - and if I live to be 100, a very short while - but your impact on me was big and lasting. I had no intentions of you and I ever meeting face-to-face, but your suggestion got us there and surprised me, to be honest. You and I are extreme opposites and I would have never guessed we would have been friends. Our introduction was exciting, though. You and I were both shy. I felt like I was the one having to do most of the talking and even when I nudged you to talk more, you didn't. You had manners, though, which drew me to you. You could be nice, yet so mean at the same time. Your actions could prove you were nice, yet your harsh words and truths would cut deep down. I was mislead, though. Your true colors came out when the going got tough in our friendship. When I was seeking out for a helping hand, you retracted yours and gave up on me. Now that, my dear, is not a friend. That is a false friend and that is one of the reasons why I am glad you were only in my life a short time. Your who-cares attitude, your look, your witty comments are what sucked me back in time and time again, even after being stood up by you once. Told to calm down another. And by being ignored once again. It was those times that I slap myself for trying to restart what was already burned out: our friendship. I don't know why you strung me along. Maybe I was some past-time you used when you were bored. Or maybe you actually wanted to be friends (though you didn't show it). I still wonder about you and honestly, I hope that you found happiness. But on the other hand, I hope someone you care about gives you the same blow off you gave me. Karma. That would be a great slap in the face for you, now wouldn't it?!
Sincerely,
Me
October 3rd,2011
If I were to write a letter to this someone, I might write it like this:
Dear You,
You were only in my life for a short while - and if I live to be 100, a very short while - but your impact on me was big and lasting. I had no intentions of you and I ever meeting face-to-face, but your suggestion got us there and surprised me, to be honest. You and I are extreme opposites and I would have never guessed we would have been friends. Our introduction was exciting, though. You and I were both shy. I felt like I was the one having to do most of the talking and even when I nudged you to talk more, you didn't. You had manners, though, which drew me to you. You could be nice, yet so mean at the same time. Your actions could prove you were nice, yet your harsh words and truths would cut deep down. I was mislead, though. Your true colors came out when the going got tough in our friendship. When I was seeking out for a helping hand, you retracted yours and gave up on me. Now that, my dear, is not a friend. That is a false friend and that is one of the reasons why I am glad you were only in my life a short time. Your who-cares attitude, your look, your witty comments are what sucked me back in time and time again, even after being stood up by you once. Told to calm down another. And by being ignored once again. It was those times that I slap myself for trying to restart what was already burned out: our friendship. I don't know why you strung me along. Maybe I was some past-time you used when you were bored. Or maybe you actually wanted to be friends (though you didn't show it). I still wonder about you and honestly, I hope that you found happiness. But on the other hand, I hope someone you care about gives you the same blow off you gave me. Karma. That would be a great slap in the face for you, now wouldn't it?!
Sincerely,
Me
October 3rd,2011
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Venting
I try to stay positive, but I have my slips. One of them was today, while I was outside walking.
I noticed a great amount of litter strung out along the side walk and road and it made me mad at people in general.
I think to myself "why can't people (not everyone) respect the Earth more?".
It really makes me upset that some people are so lazy as to just toss out their soda cans or cigarette butts onto the grass, instead of taking the time to throw it away.
A lot of people, I notice, do not show any respect to others or to the planet. When the planet provides so much for us, why not return the favor? It is no wonder our natural resources are going so fast, when many people do not think twice about wasting so much.
Simple changes would help, too. It does not have to be a huge hassle. Switching to a more environment friendly gas station fountain cup instead of one that will sit in a landfill for years, recycling, reusing a plastic bag as a trash bag or lunch bag, and walking down the street to the store instead of driving. Just simple, small steps from all of us would help this planet.
One of the things I saw while walking was a broken glass alcohol bottle. There were millions of tiny shards laying there on the sidewalk. Why in the world would someone get the idea that breaking a glass bottle is fun, let alone on public property? How immature are they! I feel I am surrounded by a bunch of idiotic morons. (Again, I am not talking about everyone).
The maturity of some people just floors me. If a person is going to be stupid and break a glass bottle, the least they could do is do it on their own property, not where dogs roam and could eat it.
October 2nd, 2011
I noticed a great amount of litter strung out along the side walk and road and it made me mad at people in general.
I think to myself "why can't people (not everyone) respect the Earth more?".
It really makes me upset that some people are so lazy as to just toss out their soda cans or cigarette butts onto the grass, instead of taking the time to throw it away.
A lot of people, I notice, do not show any respect to others or to the planet. When the planet provides so much for us, why not return the favor? It is no wonder our natural resources are going so fast, when many people do not think twice about wasting so much.
Simple changes would help, too. It does not have to be a huge hassle. Switching to a more environment friendly gas station fountain cup instead of one that will sit in a landfill for years, recycling, reusing a plastic bag as a trash bag or lunch bag, and walking down the street to the store instead of driving. Just simple, small steps from all of us would help this planet.
One of the things I saw while walking was a broken glass alcohol bottle. There were millions of tiny shards laying there on the sidewalk. Why in the world would someone get the idea that breaking a glass bottle is fun, let alone on public property? How immature are they! I feel I am surrounded by a bunch of idiotic morons. (Again, I am not talking about everyone).
The maturity of some people just floors me. If a person is going to be stupid and break a glass bottle, the least they could do is do it on their own property, not where dogs roam and could eat it.
October 2nd, 2011
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